so in conclusion part two

So i think i need to clarify so of my thoughts for people, so they get what i mean.

cause to some people i seem like a cynic, just seeing shit at every turn i take.

but that's not it in the least (even sometimes that turn of phrase makes no sense, but any who)

what i mean is, well to put it in words some people could get is, i can see the curvature of the earth, while still standing on the ground.

i can see the stream of time, for i exist outside of said stream.

and when i try to enter said stream, i am either rejected, or aloud in only for small dips, never to bath for extended periods of time in its warm eddies, or to feel its cold waves wash upon my body.

only catching the spray and mist she creates as she soldiers on upon her ceaseless march towards eternity.

and what makes it worse, is no one else can see the plight i am in due to they exist in the stream. they are part of her whiles and whims and turns and dips. and they think i exaggerate my place, yet i can see theirs clearly. the answers to the problems of life, but no one ever hears me due to the fact is, i have no place in the stream.

I'm not one of the fish who explore her hidden currents.

i am not one of the crustaceans who dwell upon her riverbed, feasting on the treasures of the deep within her.

nor am i one of the sharks who are privileged to eat of her full belly to their hearts content.

i am not either the fisherman who gets to net up and sell the bounty of her denizens,

or one of the ones who tries to stop the gluttony of said fishing men.

alone

i am the air the flats on high, never mixing with her

only pumped to her depths, to have her spit me out in small quantities over time. feeling her spray upon high, but never truly a part of her.

and this is what brings me to one of my many conclusions.

so ive come to the conclusion

ive come to the grand conclusion that, all of life's troubles, all of its vagaries, and bullshit, somehow all get lumped onto me. and i see no way out. I dont know how i got to this point in life. I try to be a good person. i try to help as many people as i can and all i get in return is hellfire.

and before you even go to that point of, oh everyone goes thru it, its life...,.walk in my shoes for a second.

i have a good job, not really hurting for money, i have decent friends, though sometimes i wonder..more on that in a minute. so why am i so down in the dumps?

i can pinpoint it to a tee......im the lowest common denominator.

"its not you its me" is the shit i am feed the most, and its my fault.

ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you thats all i get.

but thats not even the biggest issue..... the biggest is i think life has sucked the creative juice straight from me and i dont know how to get it back.

i spend most of my days trying not to cry from sheer lonliness.

and you know what makes it worse....i had someone say to me "but your already at the top, why the fuck do you need anyone?"

does anyone out there know what its like to be at the top?

and no i dont mean money wise, fuck riches, ivehad them and lost them, they dont mean shit to me.

i mean enlightenment, and no i dont mean the budist type lets reach nirvana enlightenment.

i mean real world i get it i can see all of it and all of its bullshit enlightenment.

most of the world only views the world in the way that suits them best for thier own little part of it.

well im cursed with the forsight to see all of it, and all of its shit....dont believe me, have a two minute convo with me and i can draw out your life with a few simple questions and show you how to get out of your shit.

and i can do that for me too except in one area.

and its all because i cant dumb down myself to exsist on this level of understanding companionship.

i thought i knew what it meant...but i guess i dont.

i thought love meant caring and giving your all to make the union better for all involved....but maybe im wrong. maybe it involves lies deciet and massive amounts of conflict to make it work, which i have no clue how to do.

i fix conflict not cause it.

so i guess what im saying is in conclusion, is i am destine to be a man ahead of his time, and never understand anything.

and i know my rantings makes no sense, cause no one will ever get it, so i dont even know why i am writing this.

lol life hate the ones who can see her for what she is, a shitty mistress with sociopathic tendencies who chews up anyone who dosent play by her rules.

well life, im chewed, can you spit me out now?

ok

i was sitting on the comp today and came by the most disturbing but awesome thing in the history of awesome.

its a screen shot of a page from a manga

well i will let you see for a second.....hold on......

AM I RIGHT

AWESOME

but it begs a question,

in this fictional world where the a super aryan

is there like a super human japanese person (god forbid if its kim jong )

and like would the super human black guy be Obama?!?!?!?!?!?!

i think i will try to get someone to draw them

will keep you in the loop.

OK
so its been a while since i wrote

i wasn't going to do this today, but after the third, fourth, fifth time it has happened today i have to say something.

(and i will say this in a loud enough voice so people can hear it.)

what the fuck is up with every black guy i know who comes downtown, rocking the hood uniform.

and why do all of them come into my store?

and why do all of them come in holding huge wads of cash like its supposed to make me react differently to them cause they have a miserly 231.25 out for show?

is it so the can show interest in buying a product, are they showing me they are a baller? (what ever the fuck that means)

or is it that they are so immature, and insecure they have to show some kind of masculine trait to the world (look i can buy shit with the money i earned, i am a man {beats chest})

why are people so dumb

second of all


can we get a new hood uniform?

like really
really????
white shirt
dark pants


what are you, in elementary school, where they have a dress code?

seriously
i have had 4 guys walk into my store. they all look older than 23, but they all are dressed like they attend Wilson middle school.

dudes seriously, get out the hood, away from the projects. get a real job, the kind you actually have to pay taxes with and everything. find a real woman, then have her dress you properly for fuck sakes. you look like you just stepped out of Silverman's back to school section.

Do i really have to get mad a this shit that makes no sense. i mean really, i understand the nature of the hood uniform (a bunch of people are doing dirty shit in the neighborhood, and it makes it easier for you to blend so the cops can pick up the wrong guy so you don't get popped, blah blah blah)

but do you have to dress like a 13 year old child?
really

the sad shit is the are now changing the colors of school uniforms so 12 year olds will stop getting picked up by cops, cause some 32 year old shithead wants to rob someone during school hours with the hood uniform on.
(true statement, but you will never see it on the news, EVER)

am i the only one who thinks this makes no sense?

well lets get it started

So hello People. (i know that makes no sense, it says hello people)

my name is chris, or dj re-creation, or by the name i answer to the most,poe.

i dont want to bore you with a standard first postabout a bunch about me, so i give you this instead

Well, good day!